What is Christian Parenting? (Part 1)

How would you answer this question? If you’re like I was, and probably most Christian parents, you would answer this question by saying, “It’s taking them to church, praying with them, getting them to read their Bible and hopefully seeing them give their hearts to Jesus; stuff like that.”

Let’s look at how God’s Word defines Christian parenting by examining Paul’s main comment on the topic.

Ephesians 6: 4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (NIV)

According to this section of scripture Christian parenting involves at least two main elements; the way we parent and also the purpose and content of our parenting.

The first element is straightforward and outlined in the first line of this verse; I like how the Message paraphrases it, “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them.”  An essential part of Christian parenting is that we are to act in a Christ like way in front of our children and especially towards our children.

If we are trying to teach our children to be well-behaved, self-controlled individuals but we fly off the handle and yell at them because they are not listening, what is speaking louder, our shrieking words or our own behavior?

“Do as I say, not as I do,” does not work and the primary way that our children experience what ‘we do’ is when we are parenting them.

It is interesting to look at the context of this verse. Paul starts out in verse one and two by telling our children that they are to obey us and honor us. What does that look like practically? Pretty much every parent could answer that question; listen, follow instructions, treat us and what we say with respect, be pleasant, talk nicely do things without having to be asked, and on and on the list goes.

Remember the Golden Rule? Treat others how you would like to be treated. Paul remembered it and that is the context here. He says kids honor and obey your parents and then he immediately informs the parents that they are also to treat their children in a God honoring way. Christian parenting is golden rule parenting.

When my children were younger we had a family rule that we were to speak to each other in ‘a kind and gentle voice’. Whenever voices started to sound disrespectful of parent, sibling or friend I would send out the hint/warning by saying, “she/he said in a kind and gentle voice.” It worked wonderfully because we all had an agreement that this was the kind of family we wanted to be.

One day, I was rushed and feeling harried, and without noticing (but also without being careful and purposeful about the way I was speaking) I spoke sharply to one of my kids. Everything went quiet for about two seconds. Then my oldest daughter looked at me and said, “He said in a kind and gentle voice.” Ouch! I immediately asked my kids to forgive me and asked God to help me in my efforts to speak to my children in a respectful way.

The long and short of it is that part of Christian Parenting is treating your children the same way that you would like to be treated by them, giving them an example to follow.

This may not always be easy, but acknowledging the truth and asking for God’s help gets us heading in the right direction.

The second part of verse four shows what the purpose and content of Christian parenting should be, “…bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

We’ll cover that in my next post.

Recommended Book

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Dad - your source for Christian Parenting advice)