Manner moments

“That wasn’t a polite thing to say.” “Say ‘please.’ ” “Don’t forget your thank you’s!” “And what do you say?” “We don’t do that at the table!”

There are points in our parenting career when it seems like every second or third sentence gets invested in the quest for mannerly children. We’ve all been embarrassed (and we have the stories!) by our children while they were learning manners. We’ve also all been proud when they got it right and some stranger has commented on what polite children we have. Have you ever had the tables, or the table manners, turned on you? I have.

When my children were younger, I spent time teaching them that kindness in intent and tone should be the rule that governs all of our speech. To remind them when their speech to one of their siblings strayed from the kindness rule, I would gently but pointedly add a storybook quote to the end of their speech. After they fired off, I’d instantly say, “-she [or he] said in a kind and gentle voice.”

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What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along? (Part 5)

This blog contains a key Christian Parenting principle that I guarantee (if employed) will go a long way to ending sibling rivalry and establishing your home sweet home.

What would you say are two things that are most often at the core of a sibling battle? Let me give you a few whining and complaining hints, “Dad, he won’t share,” Mom, she’s wearing my clothes again.” And next, “She hit me” and “He won’t leave me alone.”

There are many answers to the question I posed but most of us would agree that fighting over things and unwanted physical contact are huge aggravators in sibling relationships.

Jesus taught what has now become known as the Golden Rule, treat others the way that you would like to be treated. (Matt 7:12)

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What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along? (Part 3)

After we all agreed (in our family meeting) that one of our key home values was to leave strife behind, the Christian parenting work started.

Notice that on this parenting website we are not afraid to call parenting ‘work.’

I have actually found something of a parenting skills paradox in the concept of parental work. Although what seems to be lazy parenting will get you nowhere, working hard at it will give you the time and peace to be lazy.

Let me explain. Armchair parenting is a parenting style that doesn’t work; parenting is a participation sport. It is always tempting to stay seated in my favorite chair (or continue doing whatever I was doing) and fling instructions, commands and threats about the house aimed at one child, or many, (the all-in-one fling) but that is not effective parenting.

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How can I know which children’s bible is the best one for my child? (ages 8-12)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before I make some suggestions, let me briefly blog about why getting the right Bible for your children in this age group is so incredibly important.

Once we are Christians, the foundation for building our relationship with God is regular time in the Bible and in prayer. Yet how many of us as adults, struggle with this?

My daughter was seventeen when she told me that her and several Christian friends were talking about their time with God and most of them said that they had a real struggle with it. My daughter went on to say that she had not realized that people struggled with this.

If our children are guided through the process of developing a relationship with God progressively, from sitting on our knee right up to doing it on their own, they establish a habit and a relationship that is easy to maintain and difficult to walk away from.

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How Do I Get Started Parenting God’s Way?

Now that you know that God never intended us to parent without his help, that he is the third parent, that he has promised to work in you and cause you to be the parent He wants you to be, that He is working in your children as you trust Him and that He will even help you trust Him, you should be ready to move forward.

God has given you everything you need to get the job done. Nothing can prevent you from parenting God’s way; negative examples, bad experiences, lack of know-how, big mistakes you have made, the mistakes of others involved, NOTHING!

I am not saying that you should pretend that problems and pain do not exist. I am just saying that God is bigger than all of that and none of it can hold you back unless you let it.

Now all you need to do is start moving. Here are my suggestions for starting this obstacle course. First pray and let God know that you are on board for transformation. Ask him to cause you to be all that he has created you to be and more specifically to help you be a great Christian parent. Now do not stop praying that! Every time you run into a problem, fall into a bad habit, make a mistake, or just need help and wisdom for moving forward go to God. Transformation does not happen overnight—it is a lifetime thing.

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God At Work In Our Kids

How can I disciple my children when my own faith is a little shaky and when I don’t know enough about the Faith to disciple anyone? (Part 4)

We have set some great foundations in this category. We have established what Christian Parenting is. We have established that no matter where we are at personally we can get started and parent God’s way because growing with our children is the way that works. We have seen that we can be confident in our calling to parent because God is the third parent. He loves our kids more than we can imagine and He is ready to do His part. He will not only do His part, but He has put his Spirit in us and He has promised to work inside us, change us, teach us and cause us to do our part. WOW!

As if that were not enough to get us excited, encouraged and ready to go, we have got one more essential part of the foundation to set in place.

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God At Work Within Us

How can I disciple my children when my own faith is a little shaky and when I don’t know enough about the Faith to disciple anyone? (Part 3)

Please bear with me. This entry will be a little longer than most however I sincerely believe that the scriptural principle that you are about to read about is probably the most essential for Christian parents to understand!

Working hard to please God

When I first became a Christian I was so excited. I wanted to know everything, do everything right and experience God in everyway that was possible. I went to every church service and prayer meeting I could get to. I read every Christian book I could find and spent as much of my day every day that I could reading my Bible and on my knees praying. Every minute of the day I was a church service waiting to happen.

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Isn’t It The Churches Job To Teach Our Children about God and the Bible?

Simply put, NO. There is nowhere in the Bible that says that it is the churches responsibility to disciple our children.

The Bible, starting with what God spoke to Abraham (Genesis 18:19) carrying on through God’s instructions to the Israelites (Deut. 6) and moving right up to Paul’s directions to Christian parents (Eph. 6:4), unwaveringly gives the task of raising godly children to parents.

If you think about it logically, parents are the ONLY ones positioned to do the job successfully. There are three legs on the stool we call discipleship. Every Christian, in order to grow in their salvation, must grow in three areas. They must grow in their personal relationship with God (daily pray and reliance on God). They need to grow in their knowledge of God (instruction in God’s word) and they need to grow in living it out.

The spiritual growth program for children is no different; they must be growing in all three of these areas daily. (“Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4)

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