What would you change about your family

I’m not a fan of the Simpsons but I had to chuckle when I heard an ad for the show. Homer said, “Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?”

Very few of us would ever seriously ask that same question but how about if we tweaked it slightly, “Why do things that take place in stupid families keep on happening in mine?”

Isn’t that kind of what we’re asking when we get frustrated and throw out questions like, “Why must everything be a fight?” “Can’t anyone clean up after themselves?” “Would it hurt anyone to help out a bit for a change?” “For once, could you please just get along?”

One day many years ago, a friend and fellow worker very politely pointed out that I had a bad habit of interrupting him pretty much whenever he spoke. I admitted I had the problem, apologized and told him that I was going to do something about it. In the days that followed, he politely reminded me time and time again. I responded the same way each time.

A week or two later my friend reached the end of his patience and said, “Every time I talk about this, you say that you’re going to do something about it. Stop putting it off! Make a decision to change and do something about it now.”

I stopped and prayed on the spot for God’s help and I made a decision. Once the decision was made, I began paying attention and I put some effort into learning the skills I needed like really listening and following up with a question.

Albert Einstein once defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I stopped interrupting however the biggest benefit of my friend’s rebuke was that I later learned how to apply the change principle in my family. Let me give you a brief example.

Once our family was suffering from chronic tornado kitchen syndrome. At first I whined, I complained and I asked the ‘Homer Simpson’ style questions.

My wonderful wife pointed out that perhaps we needed to do something different if we wanted change. (Where had I heard that before?) After some prayer and thought, I taped a note to the kitchen counter and had a family meeting and the fun began. If a single thing was out of place after someone left the kitchen they were on kitchen duty until the next time someone was caught. For awhile everyone was catching everyone else and kitchen duty revolved frequently. Within a few weeks everyone was getting the hang of ‘the game’ and those caught were spending longer periods of time on kitchen duty which made it even more important not to mess up.

What needs to change in your family? Is it the way you communicate with each other, are the kids not helping out, is the sibling rivalry fierce, are you constantly cleaning up after everyone? Here’s what you do, pick one thing that you want to change, pray about it and ask for wisdom. Now go looking for wisdom, search this site or other Christian parenting sites, Google the problem, read a parenting book, anything you need to do to find an idea or solution.

Proverbs 9 says that wisdom has prepared a huge banquet and she’s yelling, “Come and get it.” Finding the wisdom is very seldom difficult once you’ve decided on change. Now have a family meeting and get started.

What I found out was that small efforts at change can yield big results. A simple fun game in the kitchen led to everyone learning skills that began to spread to the rest of the house. My simple decision to stop interrupting people led me to better communication skills and therefore to better and stronger relationships.

The things that happen to stupid people happen to Homer Simpson and us not because we’re stupid but because we keep doing the same things over and over again and that’s stupid. And if we expect any change without changing, according to Einstein, that’s insane. Start today and fight stupidity and insanity with a little change.

For more quick and easy parenting tips for bringing change to your family, we recommend the e-Book “The Seven Mistakes Parents of Toddlers Make”

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(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Dad – your source for Christian Parenting advice)

Are We There Yet?

This little family road trip question has become so iconic, that it’s become common fodder for comic routines and movie scripts. I would imagine that this travel question has been around as long as families have been traveling. It’s probably a good thing that all of Noah’s sons were full-grown, or Mr. and Mrs. Noah may have ended up sinking the boat.

Think about the Israelite’s trek through the wilderness. After crossing the Red Sea, they got to the edge of the Promised Land quite quickly, but because they didn’t trust God and refused to go in, God sent them on a forty-year road trip. The idea was that all of the adults who refused to believe, were to die before their children would be allowed in. Can you imagine the conversation, “Are we there yet? Am I dead yet?”

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It Is Not Enough To Hate Hatred!

This is the seventh and final post in the series: “What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along?”

We started out this sibling rivalry series by establishing that what the world says is normal in family relationships, is not what God wants for Christian families.

The world says that sibling rivalry, rebellious teenagers, kids and parents not getting along and family fighting are all part of normal family life.

However, Jesus himself said that the two greatest commands were to love God and to love others and that all of God’s law is summed up in these two commands. Christian love is a foundation of our Faith and teaching it, is a core Christian parenting skill.

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How Do I Get Started Parenting God’s Way?

Now that you know that God never intended us to parent without his help, that he is the third parent, that he has promised to work in you and cause you to be the parent He wants you to be, that He is working in your children as you trust Him and that He will even help you trust Him, you should be ready to move forward.

God has given you everything you need to get the job done. Nothing can prevent you from parenting God’s way; negative examples, bad experiences, lack of know-how, big mistakes you have made, the mistakes of others involved, NOTHING!

I am not saying that you should pretend that problems and pain do not exist. I am just saying that God is bigger than all of that and none of it can hold you back unless you let it.

Now all you need to do is start moving. Here are my suggestions for starting this obstacle course. First pray and let God know that you are on board for transformation. Ask him to cause you to be all that he has created you to be and more specifically to help you be a great Christian parent. Now do not stop praying that! Every time you run into a problem, fall into a bad habit, make a mistake, or just need help and wisdom for moving forward go to God. Transformation does not happen overnight—it is a lifetime thing.

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What is Christian Parenting? (Part 2)

Here is where we begin to deal with what I call ‘side of fries’ Christian Parenting.

In the opening comment of part one of this blog I talked about what most parents believe Christian Parenting to be. I sum that up as believing that we are to raise our children like everyone else aiming at them one day being healthy, well adjusted successful adults but with a side of Christianity. Bible stories, Sunday School, bedtime prayers etc. need to be added, so that hopefully, they will know Jesus, attend church and even read their Bible when they grow up.

Let’s examine what Paul wrote under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to see if the ‘do you want fries with that?’ idea holds up.

Ephesians 6: 4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (NIV)

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