Are Christian’s Brainwashing Their Children?

I recently started a FaceBook group called 1,000,000 ‘Christian Parents Raising Disciples For Christ.’

I was pleasantly surprised when young pre-parent people started to join the group. A few have joined because they wanted to voice their objection to being raised as a Christian. Needless to say, this has livened up the discussion area. One of the well-meaning, sincere questions posted, asked if raising our children as Christians is a type of brainwashing. My below blog is what I posted in reply to this question.

I agree with you that no one should ‘force’ his or her ideas or opinions on another person. Having said that, I have to ask you, did your parents force you to brush your teeth, go to bed at a certain time, go to school or eat your dinner?

A parent/child relationship is different than a friendship. Here’s Wikipedia’s summary definition of parenting; “Parenting is the process of raising and educating a child from birth, or before, until adulthood.” The article goes on to break down the responsibilities of parents into categories. Here’s what it states under the heading, ‘Providing intellectual development.’

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Study Shows That A Child’s Spirituality Is The Number One Factor In their Happiness

Dr. Mark Holder, a psychology professor at The University of British Columbia, led a study to determine what factors have the greatest influence on a child’s happiness. He and his team surveyed more than 300 children ages 9 to 12. The researchers also asked the parents and teachers of the children to rate their happiness.

The result? In Dr. Holder’s own words, “The more spiritual the children were, the happier they were.”

Perhaps you’re thinking, “That’s great. We take our children to church and read Bible stories to them”. Yes, that is helpful but it’s not what the survey was focused on. In fact, the Doctor said that religious activities such as going to church didn’t seem to make a difference in a child’s happiness level.

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What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along? (Part 1)

Can you imagine your home truly being a ‘home sweet home’? What if everyone in our families always spoke gently and kindly to one another? What if everyone got along famously, loved and respected one another and enjoyed each other’s company?

No sibling rivalry, no fighting, no arguing, no yelling, no unkind words, no whining, no complaining or blaming, can you imagine what that would be like?

Well, that family does not just exist in your imagination or in a Sunday school picture. Having your Christian home look and feel like that is not only possible, it is Biblical.

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What role did God intend for the Christian home and family to play in his salvation plan, the Gospel? (Part 3)

So how exactly can God use our Christian families (Christian parents and Christian children) to impact the world and bring God’s blessing to the nations?

I believe he wants us to raise a generation of Christian kids that will do major damage to the gates of hell. Let me explain.

If Israel could become great and powerful by teaching their children to walk with God and keep the Old Covenant how much more can the Body of Christ grow and powerfully impact the nations, according to God’s promise, if we were to teach our children to walk in the power and grace of the New Covenant.

Can you imagine if instead of losing our kids to the world we kept them all in the church. I’m not talking about just having more bodies to warm the pews. I’m talking about a generation that grows up learning God’s Word, walking in relationship with God and growing in his grace. A generation that is excited about being used by God and about taking ground for the Kingdom of God. Like the generation of Israelites that took the Promised Land only each one of these would be under the New Covenant and filled with God’s Spirit.

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What role did God intend for the Christian home and family to play in his salvation plan, the Gospel? (Part 2)

In part one we talked about how God wants to have salvation and his blessing come to our families. In part two I would like to talk about God’s calling on Christian families and how God wants to work through them.

Let’s go back and take a closer look at the verses about why God called Abraham.

Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.” (Genesis 18:18, 19)

Let’s look at all three parts of what the Lord said here. First he outlines his promise, Abraham is to become a great and powerful nation and (also) all the nations on the earth are to be blessed through him.

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How Do I Get Started Parenting God’s Way?

Now that you know that God never intended us to parent without his help, that he is the third parent, that he has promised to work in you and cause you to be the parent He wants you to be, that He is working in your children as you trust Him and that He will even help you trust Him, you should be ready to move forward.

God has given you everything you need to get the job done. Nothing can prevent you from parenting God’s way; negative examples, bad experiences, lack of know-how, big mistakes you have made, the mistakes of others involved, NOTHING!

I am not saying that you should pretend that problems and pain do not exist. I am just saying that God is bigger than all of that and none of it can hold you back unless you let it.

Now all you need to do is start moving. Here are my suggestions for starting this obstacle course. First pray and let God know that you are on board for transformation. Ask him to cause you to be all that he has created you to be and more specifically to help you be a great Christian parent. Now do not stop praying that! Every time you run into a problem, fall into a bad habit, make a mistake, or just need help and wisdom for moving forward go to God. Transformation does not happen overnight—it is a lifetime thing.

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What can I do when I’m struggling to believe that God is really working in me, in my family and in my home?

This is a really important question. Remember, we receive God’s grace in every area by faith. Paul said over and over again in his writings that the just must live by faith. God working in us and growing us does not just automatically happen. Our active part is to trust God’s promise and use that same faith to get up and get moving in the right direction.

Jesus often chided his disciples for their lack of faith. I believe that was because he knew that it was going to be key in the operation of the New Covenant. However struggling with our faith is something that we all do. Fortunately the Bible gives us some simple keys to help us win the struggle and grow in our faith.

Here is what always helps me when I am struggling to trust that God is truly working inside me, my family and/or my kids and making a difference. Or for that matter, when I’m struggling to trust God for any of the wonderful things we have talked about in this foundation category.

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God At Work Within Us

How can I disciple my children when my own faith is a little shaky and when I don’t know enough about the Faith to disciple anyone? (Part 3)

Please bear with me. This entry will be a little longer than most however I sincerely believe that the scriptural principle that you are about to read about is probably the most essential for Christian parents to understand!

Working hard to please God

When I first became a Christian I was so excited. I wanted to know everything, do everything right and experience God in everyway that was possible. I went to every church service and prayer meeting I could get to. I read every Christian book I could find and spent as much of my day every day that I could reading my Bible and on my knees praying. Every minute of the day I was a church service waiting to happen.

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The Third Parent

How can I disciple my children when my own faith is a little shaky and when I don’t know enough about the Faith to disciple anyone? (Part 2)

In Psalm 39 David said, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (v. 13, 14)

In these verses God shows us that he is involved in the making of each one of us. God didn’t just make Adam and Eve, wind up the baby making process and walk away. He loves and knows each one of us and was there with us from the womb.

It is funny that even though we are taught that God knows everything, is always everywhere and that he loves us all (John 3:16) it comes as a surprise to us that God made us and has known us from the start.

God did of course wonderfully allow parents to be involved in the process. Our children are the product of our unions but although that is so much of who are children are, looks, personality, talents, quirks etc. that is not all they are.

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Isn’t It The Churches Job To Teach Our Children about God and the Bible?

Simply put, NO. There is nowhere in the Bible that says that it is the churches responsibility to disciple our children.

The Bible, starting with what God spoke to Abraham (Genesis 18:19) carrying on through God’s instructions to the Israelites (Deut. 6) and moving right up to Paul’s directions to Christian parents (Eph. 6:4), unwaveringly gives the task of raising godly children to parents.

If you think about it logically, parents are the ONLY ones positioned to do the job successfully. There are three legs on the stool we call discipleship. Every Christian, in order to grow in their salvation, must grow in three areas. They must grow in their personal relationship with God (daily pray and reliance on God). They need to grow in their knowledge of God (instruction in God’s word) and they need to grow in living it out.

The spiritual growth program for children is no different; they must be growing in all three of these areas daily. (“Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4)

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